>>3836786Reading this made me feel awful because I've been in the position of your friend before.
I made the same excuses, that "l didn't want to talk about it" and that "there was no reason" that I did what I did.
There was, but I think I was too scared of myself and of really hurting my friend to say it outright. The truth was that I had associated him with bad memories because of the things we had both done earlier. I think they had probably happened around a year ago when I cut the friendship off. Maybe more. I feel really bad about it still whenever I look back and read those messages.
Our friendship was already declining, and I think both of us saw that, but what I did just sped it up and made it something that couldn't ever be fixed. I can only hope he's forgiven me. I don't really want our friendship back, it's been 10 months exactly since we've last spoken, but I don't want him to hate me. I don't know why either since I've pretty much blocked him out of my mind and life.
If I could go back, I just wish I had communicated that better. But I think I'd still be too much of a coward to say that to his face without the mask of anonymity even now.
I don't even know if you use 4chan any more, let alone if you check this thread, but if you read this, and you recognise me, I'm sorry. I won't lie and say that it wasn't your fault originally, but the way I acted as time went on was still wrong. That's completely on me, since reading back you really hadn't done anything that would have made you deserve how I treated you. I was part of the problem too.
I hope you've been able to leave your old life enough to never read this. You seem to have grown more than I have, even though I would constantly criticise you for running from change. I guess I really am as hypocritical as I would always joke.
