>>69443754I don't know, but I have thought of all that, what will happen once the lie is over? What if I tell them the truth? What if they find out themselves? All of it, all over a year already, I want to go back to college because there's a good chance I end up working in a shitty job, there's also a good chance I end up the same but with a diploma, but at least the people I care the most about will be proud of me, which is also why they been helping me with some stuff so I can keep "going" to college, things like sending money, giving me old books, advice, etc. All of this situation is in my hands, yet I feel like whatever choice I'm going to take is gonna be mega retarded and it's going to cause drama all over my family, myself, and the people who know me and my family. I don't really feel like dealing with all of it, and I haven't really found something interesting while in college, just the fact that I can find better job opportunities.
Another issue I have in college is my autism, every time I have to speak in front of the class, every time I have to talk with people or the friends I made there about what I had been doing on the weekend where I avoid talking at all costs about chuubas because they think anime is retarded or things like that (only stuff they like to talk is about how much they drinked on a party, a concert or beach they want to go, etc), how I end up doing something else over a project or homework, as I said, if I go back there it's gonna be all the same, I feel I can do it and at the same time I can't, it's tiring but keeping these lies up is about as tiring, I just want to end all of it in one way or another
