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I'm 21 years old. I'm getting married soon to the love of my life. I'm at university, taking hard, but rewarding computer science classes. I'm working a good part time job at a coffee shop. I have good friends around me, and people who care. My family has basically disowned me. I feel so tired, all the time. I know I will never have a career in music, and that makes me feel like a failure. I feel so selfish, awful, and like a burden on everyone around me because I'm so depressed. I feel like a numbness is creeping up to me.
I want to run away sometimes, or just drink my problems away. I usually end up procrastinating, stress eating, and trying to ignore my responsibilities. This leaves me worse off than before. I want to go to a colder place, its too warm here right now. Go with my fiancee to a simple place where we can both be happy and at peace. I feel expected to do something great, but I don't believe in myself to do anything. I look forward into my life, and it seems boring and dreadful, no matter what good is in it, which I can see there is a lot of.
I don't think any of this makes sense. I feel like I'm lost in the woods. Figuring out life is strange I guess. Just feels good to get it out there.