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I don't know what to do anymore. I saw something similar somewhere up the page about how screwed society is and sticking your head in the sand, I feel that so intensely you have no idea. I was promised a decent position with good pay at the beginning of the year, family shit happened, threw me off, training was incomplete and I was expected to just naturally understand everything and run my center by myself. Didn't matter when I tried to speak up, not even to the suits, quit a few months ago after a blowout and unemployed since. I've lost 3 members of close family this year, I have met someone nice I've been dating but they have their own issues and life they need to sort out as well, I haven't slept in about 50 hours as I'm typing this. More and more I'm so disillusioned with modern life, I had a skewed upbringing/schooling that hampered my ability to attend a proper uni, I feel miles behind everyone, I don't have a hobby or marketable skill I can latch onto like some, I'm mildly charismatic but I just like listening and learning from people.
I can honestly say I have little to nothing going for me. I don't know what to do anymore, I still have some savings but I'm not sleeping, nightmares and terrors give me no rest when I do sleep, I feel useless to life. I can honestly say that I do genuinely care for people. If there was some way to make a living by just doing charity work or doing stuff for people in need I'd love that truly. Its unlikely I'll do anything but most of the time, I just don't want to exist anymore.
Sorry if I'm rambly or it didn't make much sense. Basic tldr is I'm tired and I don't see things improving for me anytime soon. I hope I'm wrong, but who knows man.
