>>7860592>>7860672I am not gonna try to stop you like most people are doing here.
I have been dealing with suicide thoughts since I was 18, I'm 24 now. I think the chances of me actualy commiting it are very low but everyday I wish I was dead.
Does it get better? Well, it can get better, but it most likely won't. The reason for that is depression takes away the motivation to do anything, in your case you won't get the motivation to find a job and get to the place where you wanna be in life, and that worsens the depression even more. Your problems can be easily fixed but I know how hard it seems to you because I feel the same.
Whatever your decision is, I hope you find peace at the end of it.