>>7095088Content, but not fulfilled.
TL;DR of my life: 22 going on 23. Spent 1 year in college before dropping out and joining the military. Stayed in for 1.5 years and left after 2 trips to the psych ward due to depression and suicidal thoughts. Worked at an IT company a friend of mine (that I live with and another friend) works at for 2 years before leaving that and going to my current job in Pest Control. It's a basic M-F, 7/8-5/6 job that pays roughly 40-50k starting out. For the past several years I've wanted to go out and find different hobbies besides vidya as it no longer gets me like it used to. I now have the money and plan to go into BJJ, take some art classes on Udemy, take working out seriously now, etc... I've been dating my current gf for 6 months now while knowing her for a little over a year. Things are going amazing between us. It feels like everything is going how I want yet I still don't like myself that much nor my life.
Like suicide is no longer a big issue as it was 2 years ago, yet is still a potential possibility. I've told myself since 19 if I still can't get my shit together and have a semi-happy life I'd kill myself. While my current job could develop into a career, my gf is in school for sign language and will be moving to DC this time next year. I'm beginning to lose interest in my friends that I live with and all my current old friends. They're no better or worse (desu I'm making more money than they are with degrees save for 1 who's gonna be a lawyer). I think I'm just fed up with this shtick I've dealt with for nearly 23 years now.
I plan on moving to DC with my gf as long as things stay how they are now. What I'll do there I have no idea. New job? Tech school? Maybe back to college? IDK. And should we break up, IDK WTF I'm gonna do here in my current situation. Maybe I'm an asshole or maybe after fighting it for years, you can't really outrun depression. I wanna try to relax and enjoy the time I have left before the last calls
