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I'm slowly losing everyone I love and there is nothing I can do about it.
I am an outcast in my family, I am the "other one" to all my friends, and the people who once I thought cared about me are slowly leaving me and I can do nothing to stop it.
I've been progressively getting worse and worse over the past 4 years, and nothing has helped so far.
I'm arguing more and more with my closest friends, and I don't think they want to put up with me for much longer.
I can't talk about how I feel to my friends anymore, because I'm afraid that it will just make them leave even sooner.
My grandmother died almost exactly a year ago, and we still haven't been able to hold her funeral because of travel restrictions, but we're finally hoping to be able to hold it in october.
She always saw so much in me and told me I had a future ahead of me, even on her dying bed urging me to work towards a future. She was the only person who treated me like a human for most of my life.
I've been treated like subhuman trash for my entire life for no reason, and I can't help but agree with that anymore. I am nobody, I bring no good to the world, all I do is just hurt and take from others.
There is no me, there is only what others want me to be. If others want me to live, I will live but I see no point in it. Life holds nothing for me, and any attempt to change that is just a waste of time and energy on everyone's part.
I apologize for wasting your time with reading this, and I hope that this wallpaper makes up for it.
