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That sucks. But unless you're dying from terminal cancer, you can do a lot more with your life than existing in a way that makes you want to kill yourself. There are ways to change your present situation, but you're afraid to make them. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that existing is much better than the what my imagination can come up with of nonexistence. Besides, suicide is a selfish act. You're not going to make any noise, you're not going to be remembered beyond the pain you cause for others. So do it if you've decided it, and be done with it. Have a wallpaper, everyone else.