Hey /wg/,
I've been lurking here for a while and I found this place to be the most wholesome board. What I mean by that is that it truly feels like a community that is trying to help each other, mentally that is. I've been feeling alone my whole life. I've never been the social type but I've always tried to do my best in everything. I try to work hard. I try to help my family in every way that I can. I try to treat others with the respect I want to be treated. I try to be good to my girlfriend and treat her the way a real man should. I'd much rather just stay at home and play vidya or just watch garbage on youtube all day. But I just always try to push myself by doing stuff I wouldn't usually do. I always try to improve.

But no matter what I do, I always feel like an absolute failure. Even when I know I'm not (for instance pushing a new PR at the gym or something) I always feel like I'm not doing good enough. No matter how much I try to treat my family and friends good, It always comes crashing down at one point or another. And I fell betrayed and unmotivated. My girlfriend always starts these fights out of nowhere, and I end up feeling unwanted.

I guess what I'm trying to say by all this rambling is that I feel like a failure every day. Every day feels like a fight to get out of bed and do the things that wont make me look like a self loathing piece of trash. Like going to work, trying to be social to a lot of people, going to the gym. I feel alone, constantly. Like there's no one to turn to. I feel like just moving to a new place deleting every social media account I have and just starting anew. Just trying to get through life as quietly as possible without bothering or being bothered by anyone.

I apologize for my rambling. I hope some of you understand. And I hope some of you share with me if you feel the same way.

Thank you for reading. Also I guess a lone warrior/wanderer, loner thread.