>>7731067The Spirit of God is drawing you, friend. Christianity is more than just ideals and morals. It will give your life all of its meaning, more than you could ever dream of. It is a living and breathing relationship with Jesus Christ.
We have all sinned against God and fallen short of his standard for righteousness. The payment for those sins is death and eternal punishment.
But God sent his son Jesus to live the perfect life we did not, and take the punishment for our sins by dying on the cross. He was buried and was raised on the third day to declare that he has victory over death and sin.
To become a believer, you must confess with your mouth that Jesus is the Son of God, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, and you will be saved. (Romans 10:9) I guess I should ask what you are struggling to truly believe?
Pray to Jesus, he is listening. You don't need to clean yourself up first or know all the right words, he knows your heart, and he loves you. Ask him to help you believe, to show you what is truly holding you back, and overcome it. Confess your doubts. Be honest and real with him, he can take it.
I'm not familiar with the book recommendations except Mere Christianity (which is great), but there is no better place to seek God than his word, the Bible. Read God's word and truly study to understand, he will open your eyes and reveal himself to you. In the words of Jesus, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." - Matthew 7:7
I would start in the book of Mark, or one of the other Gospels.
I am praying for you, my friend, and I'd love to help.
