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I live in a third-world country and often think about how different my life could have been if I’d been born somewhere else. I feel like, in a better environment, I could’ve done so much more.
I have a good relationship with my family, but I have no friends. I moved away from the place where I was born and spent my first 21 years, so the friends I made in school are now just people I might text once a month. But This is not a huge issue, I’m not that social, and honestly, my best times are when I’m alone.
I don’t have a girlfriend either. Most of the people I work with are girls, but no one ever tries to talk to me. The first step is always expected from the man, right? But if I lived for 200 years, I’d still never take that first step. So here I am—no friends, no partner, and no hope.
My routine feels like a loop I can’t escape. I go to work at 10 a.m., come back at 5 p.m., and settle into my dark room until I sleep, only to wake up and do it all over again. I only drink tea, and while I don’t earn much, being alone means I can spend my money however I want. I could buy things or go out and do stuff, but I just don’t. Sometimes, it feels like my life is stuck in a cycle, even though breaking out of it is just a decision away.
I find myself wishing time would move faster. Maybe marriage will change things—that feels like my only hope—but I know I’m not ready yet. And that’s why I just want time to pass quickly.