You’re <span class="mu-b">ANTON PEAS:</span> a loose-cannon cop with a hair-trigger temper and a hunger for justice… whatever the cost!

Wait, no… no you’re not–you’re a Grill Jockey at <span class="mu-b">GREASE MONKEY: THE DEEP-FRIED EVERYTHING FAMILY RESTAURANT!</span> Thanks to a demonic ritual gone wrong, you were whisked away to <span class="mu-b">ZORAL:</span> a fantasy realm shrouded in perpetual darkness–the surprise trip leaving you with a plate full of troubles and a head full of holes!

Dazed, confused, and bloodied by the local fauna (and a particularly feisty demoness named <span class="mu-r">Rezalith</span>), you somehow managed to stumble across some friendly locals… or rather they stumbled across <span class="mu-i">you</span>: there’s <span class="mu-b">VOLKA:</span> gentle giantess and Marshall of some kind of militia/neighborhood watch called <span class="mu-b">THE LAMPLIGHTERS, TZAH-TZIE:</span> a spunky bard that kinda latched onto you for inspiration, <span class="mu-b">MOROOK:</span> the stoic ranger and gatherer of alchemical regents, and the ever-grumpy <span class="mu-b">OTI:</span> a moody mage with an interest in your recently-acquired powers…

You heard right! Conveniently manifesting right before becoming a treat for the wildlife, the ability to summon fireballs from your fingertips has helped you out of a few jams… it’s a shame the gift might be demonic in origin!

Needless to say, you’ve been busy! <span class="mu-b">VOLKIR,</span> Volka’s adoptive father and potion seller has promised to assist you in finding a way home–for a price!

<span class="mu-s">20,000 BELLS</span> is his fee, and though you already have several leads on how to acquire said sum, the task is already shaping up to be far more troublesome than it appears. In an attempt to refresh an Innkeeper’s stock of booze, your journey took you to the <span class="mu-b">DOCKS DISTRICT</span>. What began as a simple sidequest has put you through the proverbial ‘wringer’--and might have even put you in the sights of unseen, but surely wicked forces…

Speaking to a shaky sugarseller, THIS is where your story continues…

https://youtu.be/1lR8VLt1Xlk

You are a Cutémon!

You are one of the rarest types of mon: a mon that looks like a cute human girl!

Like all mons, you gain energy by fighting and defeating other mons. Your trainer is the human boy Joe Apple of Patina.

You're the leader of a barbarian tribe that recently found a new continent full of ancient catacombs filled with loot. Though there is some weak undead in there, it has been a breeze to acquire the loot, it is just that there is an awful lot of it.

But on your third trip to the island to grab loot, you find a bunch of wizards snooping around. You promptly attack them, but the damn wizards are crafty, they use their ranged spells to murder many men ten times better than them with their cowardly witchcraft.

You cannot allow those wizards to keep breathing, you must put an end to their magic. Worse still, some useless trinkets from the ruins seem to empower greatly the wizards, making them even more dangerous.

One of your men discovers that if we break the artifacts, crush them to powder and snort the powder, we gain a temporary powerful boost in battle!

So now we have a good reason to collect all those trinkets!

You have two boats, 40 men on the island and 200 food (each 1 food is food for one man for one day).

The trip between your home and the island takes 1 week, so if you send for reinforcements, they will take at least 14 days to arrive.

What do you do?

> Gather food
> Raid a catacomb for loot
> Raid a catacomb for magic trinkets
> Search for the wizards to put an end to their misery
> Write in

You estimate there are still over 1,000 catacombs unexplored in the island.

You can divide your men and send them to do different tasks.

Roll 3d100 for each group doing a task.

Name leader and select if male or female.

Your village was a quiet, humble place nestled in the shadow of a mountain, known for its verdant fields and peaceful way of life. The villagers were simple folk—farmers, shepherds, and artisans who lived in harmony with the land. Everyone knew one another, and festivals were celebrated with laughter and song. But in the weeks leading up to the fateful night, something had begun to shift. Strange figures cloaked in shadow were seen near the outskirts, livestock began to disappear, and mutilated remains were discovered in the woods. A sense of unease settled over the community, though no one could have imagined the horrors to come.

The attack came on a moonless night, shrouded in unnatural darkness. Villagers were roused by clanging bells and guttural chants, and flames erupted from the square where hooded figures gathered around a glowing rune circle. Their leader, a gaunt man with glowing red eyes and a voice like the echo of the abyss, raised a wicked blade and declared the dawn of a new age. Cultists moved methodically, dragging people from their homes to the square. Resistance was met with brutal efficiency—those who fought were slaughtered or subdued with dark magic. Helpless, you watched as your neighbors were bound in a massive spiral around the runic circle. The leader began chanting, his voice rising as each villager was sacrificed, their blood feeding the glowing runes. The air grew thick with sulfur, and the ground trembled. When the final scream faded, the circle erupted in a column of fire, and from it emerged a monstrous entity—a towering demon wreathed in flame and shadow. Its presence was overwhelming, and with a wave of its massive hand, the entire village was engulfed in hellfire. Homes, crops, and people were consumed in moments. Friends and loved ones burned before your eyes as the cultists laughed and walked willingly into the flames to join their master.

Amid the chaos, you remembered the old tunnel beneath the chapel, used long ago by clergy to escape danger. In the confusion, you broke free and sprinted to the chapel, flames licking your heels as the inferno raged around you. You pushed aside a loose stone slab behind the altar and plunged into the narrow, pitch-black passage, choking on smoke and fear. The screams of the dying faded behind you until there was only silence. When you emerged hours later, you collapsed, staring at the distant glow of your village’s destruction.

I feel like running a civ thread, but I want to run one with civilized races. You may pick amongst the races from the picture only.

Time for another civilization quest! But first, I need to know what kind of civilization game do you want to play, so please answer the following questions.

**Chapter 1: Blood and Ashes**

It was early dawn when the abbess had roused us. I was still rubbing rheum from my eyes when we'd unceremoniously shuffled out of sullen halls of St. Elise— the orphanage I'd spent the 16 years and three seasons of my life— and into a truck, cramped and packed with about two-dozen or so prospective soldaten for the Emethian war-horde.

The gruel we'd eaten early in the morn stung acrid at the back of my throat for each lurching turn we took towards Raubzpich. I was doing my best not to stain my clothes, pressing my face into my moth-eaten rucksack with the little belongings I still had. I remember the deafening pitter-patter of rain against canvas, the flickering shadows cast by the singular swaying oil lamp illuminating the cabin, and the occasional flash of lightning that burned through my eyelids before the boom of thunder would rattle my bones. When we'd arrived at our destination, they said it was only noon, but the storm had blocked out the sun, and I could scarcely avoid tripping over my worn shoes as we were herded into the fort, a lumbering crowd of children no older than eighteen, shivering and smelling of rain trudging through the mud, following the lights of the officers like giant silken moths.

We were first forced to relieve ourselves of our belongings, then our hair, then our clothes. After that, we were *inspected*.

No, measured. Holes violated, eyes, ears, teeth, and gums scrutinized, dark blood drawn and spit collected into twin glass vials. The crook of my elbow still stung when we were forced into the showers, as the mage who'd drawn my blood took a sample of my humors twice after the first needle had bent painfully into my flesh.

I shuffled under a waiting showerhead, averting my eyes from the nude forms of conscripts readily chatting away around me, preferring to stare at the blotches of scarlet rushing down my skin, between the tiles, and into the drain. I reached out, fingers grazing the copper dial, twisting it slowly. My eyes fluttered shut as a torrent of warmth surged over my skin, driving the chill from my bones. St. Elise didn't have warm baths, just a rag and a bucket you had to draw water from the well outside yourself.

I wasn't quite sure if I could get used to the life as a conscript just yet, but this was a definite plus.

1/3

The Lands Between are broken, the demigod children of Marika fracturing and fighting over their Shards of the Great Rune. Great betrayals and catastrophic battles have rocked the kingdom, dividing it politically and physically. Queen Marika is nowhere to be found as war consumes the land whole.

You are the last of the Silverwing Warriors under Malenia's command. When she besieged Stormveil Castle to bring punishment upon Godrick the Grafted, he, through Black Knife treachery, dealt her a fatal blow with dark weapons. You watched the horror unfold. The Scarlet Rot bloomed over the castle and hills. The flood of red wiped out nearly all combatants. It sent you down the castle stairs, down the gate, down, down, down…

Stranded behind enemy lines in a war torn land…

~-~

Welcome to the War of Broken Gold, an Elden Ring Quest set during the events of the Shattering. The Greater Will has not abandoned the Lands Betwixt quite yet, and Tarnished have yet to return en masse. There are still heroes in the land, like you, who may rise or aid the demigods back into Grace.

>We will be using a simple d20 system. Most rolls will be like Skill checks from DnD. All rolls will be done by players.

>Roll 1d20
>Best of 3 unless… Roll result is 1 (Fumble) or 20 (Critical Success)

The Silverwing Warriors, under the banner of Malenia, were the irregular troops when compared to her Cleanrot Knights. As a whole they were jacks of all trades, offering new options for combat. You wear the distinct silverwing helm and blue armor, but the way you fight is up to you.

>We’ll be voting between different arrays of stats to build our Silverwing Warrior. Once an array is chosen, we will plug in the number to the stats.

Health and Focus Points. 20 points between the two of them.

Arrays:
> 1. Balanced (10/10)
>2. Specialized (15/5)

During play we will have Flasks, which heal HP or restore FP. You begin with 3 charges, which refresh when you rest at a site of grace. How we’ll distribute flasks will be determined later.

Your name is David "Gunny" Rockefeller, no relation.
A veteran of the united states marine corps, you find yourself in a far-out situation after an all-too-close encounter of the third kind!

In the last thread you captured some live samples of the insects infesting your station for Lyna to study, giving you a bit of information on an otherwise unknown threat.
You also managed to get your mom into custom skinsuit, which has more or less returned her mobility to her, allowing her to walk and act on her own.

After that, you spent a fair bit of time checking on equipment and training the new pirate raiders for the upcoming extermination campaign.
The topic of marriage also came up with Cylia, from whom you learned that Caithans mate for life, and her staying with you forever was just a given in her mind.

But then, you learned something unpleasant that you're currently in the middle of blocking out of your mind forever.
After a quick little three or four day mental breakdown, you drowned yourself in Kyla's embrace and forced yourself back onto your feet.

SHODAN hasn't spoken to you much since then, but the other girls have been taking good care of you.

You decided that the only way to pull yourself up was to just move, and with work to be done in the bug squashing department, that's what you decided on.
The very next day, you were suited up and now find yourself balls deep in mostly unmapped tunnels in the middle of a gigantic, hollowed-out asteroid.

One of the raiders you took with you almost immediately got injured, which you somewhat expected, but that also served to put the remainder of the men on their toes.
That also made them quite slow to move, and it seems neither bribery nor threats are enough to make them eager to do their jobs in the face of mortal danger.

So you currently find yourself leading by example, putting yourself on the front line for all to see.

Will things go according to plan? What will you find deeper in these tunnels? Will David's mental state hold up over time?
Find out this time, on (probably the last) Humanity Fuck Yeah!

>Last Thread: https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2024/6091170/
>All Threads: https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?searchall=humanity+-+fuck+yeah%21
>Google Doc: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1rNxD6ccWY5M48dLWuTWdr5LiYLuS_YIAMKlTLw42eeo/edit#gid=0
>Discord Link: https://discord.gg/PYJ7Aa3zQF

<span class="mu-i">"The United Kingdom is home to many different kinds of dangers.</span>
<span class="mu-i">In particular, York and the area surrounding it have a Witch Manifestation every</span> <span class="mu-r">=</span> <span class="mu-i">days. Magical Girls are a needed resource in that area, but are volatile within it.</span>
<span class="mu-i">I would wish all living there good luck, but luck will not save you from their clutches."</span>

<span class="mu-i"> - Excerpt from The "Territory in The U.K Guide" by £&!*@ *&"^^#@</span>

<span class="mu-i">"Life really can be pretty fairy-tale like at times, if you just try hard enough!"</span>

<span class="mu-i">- Miharu Fukugawa's Mind</span>

<span class="mu-i">"This new world is full of grace and wrath alike. I prithee a grand question: What to do to remind the world of virtue and modesty?"</span>

<span class="mu-i">- Viktoria Walker's Current Dismay</span>

<span class="mu-s">Previous (and first) Thread:</span>
https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2024/6085308/

<span class="mu-s">Other Threads by Lumina Canima:</span>
https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?searchall=meguca+royale