Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the latest exciting episode of K-WAB Wrestling's flagship show, SATURDAY NIGHT METAL! K-WAB is the only wrestling company that is run exclusively for the benefit of the good bastards here on /pw/. We took a little hiatus in order to level up our capabilities a little bit, but we are back and better than ever! And, in order to make up for those weeks we missed, we have prepared a show that is absolutely packed to the gills with all the KINO you could possibly want! To enjoy the show, simply read the posts in order and enjoy the media therein. I can promise you that this is one you don't want to miss.
For tonight's matchups, we have:
>Ultimo Dragon Vs Shingo Takagi in an Iron Eagle Cup qualifying match >The Steiner Brothers Vs The Snake Mountain Crew >Mistico Vs Eddie Guerrero in another Iron Eagle Cup qualifying match >Kane fights a mystery opponent in hell! >World Heavyweight Champion Sabu Vs The Ultimate Warrior with the title on the line! PLUS:
>A brand new 92 hit from LyricKING >The return of Rock Talk in fully animated form >David Benoit's Initiation into the Ministry Of Darkness >Wolfie's Fifth KWAB >The reveal of our brand new Cruiserweight championship belt! And besides all this, there's bound to be other surprises in store because anything can happen on SATURDAY NIGHT METAL!
>Saturday Night Metal Intro Theme: https://files.catbox.moe/a5xc9c.mp3 >Official K-WAB Channel: https://www.bitchute.com/channel/ANkif28xbBNW >Official K-WAB Email Address: [email protected]
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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On our last episode, we held a good old-fashioned /pw/ rumble, with the winner slated to receive a contract with K-WAB Wrestling. The Rumble actually went really well, much smoother than they normally do. In the end, Fit Finlay outlasted all the other entrants and earned himself a guaranteed contract.
Saturday Night Rumble Gamethread:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/19706595 Fit Finlay Victory Promo:
https://www.bitchute.com/video/ATTuO9pnoAor Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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And the show before that was K-WAB Hype Zone Episode 3. This one was the first episode of Hype Zone to feature fan-booked matches. That's right, On Hype Zone, the fans always book the main event. We saw the debut of Shrek, and a great match between Kazuchika Okada and Mr. Perfect, as well as three Iron Eagle Cup qualifying matches. If you want to catch up on that one, it can be found here:
>https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/19664431 Shrek/Bootyman Prematch Promo:
>https://www.bitchute.com/video/kk1YqNEE4vmw Anonymous
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>>19983366 based, bring the kino OP
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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Tonight, our main event is Sabu Vs The Ultimate Warrior with the K-WAB World Heavyweight Championship on the line! The Warrior earned this title shot by winning a four-way dance at Sunday Night Yuletide, and now we will see if he can go all the way. He's got an incredibly tough opponent in our current World Champion Sabu, who is known as one of the world's foremost innovators of violence. This one should be very interesting indeed.
Frenly Apu !!ojHh2GMfBkG
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Frenly Apu here with a quick word from Apu news. We are now underway with our first annual Iron Eagle Cup tournament, and three of the qualifying matches have already happened. As such, three men have been eliminated:>Loco Bandito >Great Muta >Jushin Liger
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
Most of you will have already seen this promo, but here is the Ultimate Warrior taking a journey to the spirit world to prepare for his upcoming match.
https://www.bitchute.com/video/iqvY2S2vFM1o Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it will be an Iron Eagle Cup qualifying match. Introducing first, from Yamanashi, Japan, weighing 220 pounds...this is the last of the dragon, Shingo Takagi!
Entrance Video:
https://www.bitchute.com/video/ELNMiYbVJVKY Entrance Theme:
https://files.catbox.moe/rkry9e.mp3 Anonymous
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>>19983690 love this shit, well done
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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And his opponent...from Nagoya, Japan, weighing 185 pounds...ladies and gentlemen, this is Ultimo Dragon!
Entrance Video:
https://www.bitchute.com/video/UeaenXozART6 Entrance Theme:
https://files.catbox.moe/ggcky4.mp3 Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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>So, Takagi-san...we meet again after all these years. When you came into my dojo, I knew right away that you were destined for greatness. But do not become arrogant, Takagi-san, because your old master has one more lesson for you, and this will be a very painful lesson. It is my destiny to win this tournament and add it to the many belts I already possess, and it is your unfortunate fate that you stand in my way. Prepare yourself, Takagi-san, for I am still the original dragon and the grand dragon of the Nippon Ku Klux Klan! Perhaps one day, little dragon, you may grow stronger and surpass my greatness, but not today.
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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>There comes a time when the old dragon must acknowledge his successor. Ultimo Dragon, my old master...it will be a pleasure to test my skills against yours. For you will see that the student has surpassed the master, and it is my destiny to become the great dragon emperor and save Japan by driving out all the foreigners and establishing a mighty shogunate that will reign for a thousand years! Now that I have found a worthy empress, the first phase has been accomplished, and now I must demonstrate my worthiness to rule by claiming victory and being crowned in glory before the eyes of the world. Prepare yourself, old dragon, because no force on earth can stand in the way of Shingo Takagi, the last of the dragon!
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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Alright, it's time for our first match of the evening! This one is an Iron Eagle Cup qualifying match. That means the loser will be eliminated from contention and the winner will move on to the round robin portion of the tournament. Ultimo Dragon and Shingo Takagi have a lot of history together, and there is a lot on the line. Who will it be?
https://www.bitchute.com/video/Nsu5PqsREVod Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
>Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner by KO, advancing to the next round of the Iron Eagle Cup...Shingo Takagi!
Anonymous
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
Oh my! It seems that Ultimo Dragon and Shingo Takagi have decided to give poor Takeshita another beating! Hopefully he won't shit all over the ring this time! Ultimo Dragon isn't showing any sign of anger at losing the match, in fact he seems proud of his old disciple. And so, in a fine display of sportsmanship, they are working together to punish Takeshita for disrespectfully interrupting the match, and for being such a dimeless shitter. Will Takeshita's suffering ever end? I don't know, but I know this crowd is on its feet and howling for more violence!
Anonymous
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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And now it's time to reveal one of the prizes for the first annual Iron Eagle Cup. Each year, the winner will receive a special trophy to commemorate their victory. This trophy signifies that the bearer has proven himself to be the top cruiserweight in K-WAB Wrestling, and so it is a special honor indeed. Four men have already been eliminated in the qualifying matches, but who will be the one to rise above the other competitors to take both the trophy and the gold? Over the course of the next few weeks, we will find out!
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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>>19983972 Funny you should ask that, because he is booked for next week.
Anonymous
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>>19983956 savage. fuck takeshita, thats the least he deserves.
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
Trophies are nice and all, but let's take a look at the main prize! It took a long time, but beltmaker Pepe has finally finished our newest championship belt. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...the K-WAB Cruiserweight Championship belt! Only men who weigh 220 pounds or less can compete for this title. Those who weigh exactly 220 pounds may compete in both the heavyweight and cruiserweight divisions. We incorporated our own design with a number of the ideas suggested by our fans, and the result is a very unique and distinctive belt. This brings our total number of active championships up to four, and the women's title will be the fifth. We would like to thank all the anons who contributed ideas to this design. Even if you're one of the people whose ideas didn't get used, we still thank you for your input.
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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Now that our Cruiserweight belt is complete, we must find a worthy champion. There is only one more qualifying match (Eddie Guerrero Vs Mistico), which will take place later tonight. That will conclude the first round, and we will then move on to the round robin portion of the tournament. Five men will compete in a tournament where everybody fights everybody, which will take place over several weeks of K-WAB shows. These matches will be spaced out in this way so that they don't take up entire shows. At the end of that road, the winner will be declared as both the tournament winner and our inaugural cruiserweight champion. Now, enjoy this nice little music video that we have put together to commemorate the first annual Iron Eagle Cup:
Say it with me now
>BOOOOOOOORN IN THE RING https://www.bitchute.com/video/sh585QrNvCuZ Anonymous
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>>19984029 BAWK! and this belt is kind of strange but i like it
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall...from the black heart of snake mountain, at a total combined weight of 513 pounds...this is La Parka and Skeletor, and together they are the Snake Mountain Crew!
Entrance Video:
https://www.bitchute.com/video/67chuCkAcbYv Entrance Theme:
https://files.catbox.moe/wkma59.mp3 Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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And their opponents...from Bay City, Michigan, with a total combined weight of 560 pounds...ALL you hoochies get down on your knees for "Big Poppa Pump" Scott Steiner and "The Dog-faced Gremlin" Rick Steiner, The Steiner Brothers!
Entrance Video:
https://www.bitchute.com/video/eGJLiFn72dA6 Entrance Theme:
https://files.catbox.moe/4x7wg4.mp3 Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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And here's Skeletor with a few words about tonight's match:
https://files.catbox.moe/ks7743.mp3 Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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Big Poppa Pump Scott Steiner also had a few things to say:
https://files.catbox.moe/btycz5.mp3 Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
Now it's time for this week's tag team match. We got the Snake Mountain Crew (La Parka and Skeletor) making their debut against the Steiner Brothers. We got a straight up pimp on one side and a straight up cartoon villain on the other, so this one is bound to be crazy.
https://www.bitchute.com/video/VdlT75VfTuf0 Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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>Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners...Rick and Scott, The Steiner Brothers!
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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>And now, we take you to the locker room, where Hulk Hogan has arrived to congratulate Shingo and Poi on their recent marriage. It seems that they are celebrating by saying the gamer word over and over and over again! Yes we do say that word here, brother!
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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>Captain Confederate So Hangman, I see you have decided to accept my gracious offer to become your redneck sensei, and teach you how to be a true hillbilly instead of a cringey faggot! I'm proud of ya boy, I knew you had it in ya. Today you will take your first step on the long dirt road that leads to the redneck trailer park full of loonies, sluts and meth heads (although you should probly avoid the meth heads). Let's seal the deal with a beer, by God!
>Hangman Page You were right, Cap. I've been a fake my whole life. I never really picked beans with the Mexicans or any of that other stuff, that was all invented by the network producers for some good PR. I actually grew up in a poor neighborhood in Richmond, and I was the only white guy for miles around. I had to learn how to fight, but I also had to dye my hair black and tell everybody I was Cuban. I always wanted to be a real cowboy, but I guess this is the next best thing.
Note: Previous interactions between these two can be found here:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/19031496 https://www.bitchute.com/video/jFC4KHEry8sB Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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>Captain Confederate
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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>And now, we take you to the church of bones, where a much different kind of initiation is taking place. David Benoit, the last son of madness, is here to be initiated into the infernal ranks of the Ministry of Darkness. As you may remember, David Benoit was defeated by The Undertaker in the main event of Saturday Night Yuletide, but he also earned an invitation to join the Ministry of Darkness. What sort of dark and demonic rites are we about to witness? Ministry Theme:
https://vocaroo.com/16dDGeNyLfjx Undertaker Vs David Benoit:
https://www.bitchute.com/video/hN6Y2bQdMhU6 The Undertaker !!1C2erSR+Vlt
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BENOIT! There is one final test before you can be allowed to join our dark brotherhood. There are many evil souls in this world, but the power of darkness shall be offered only to the chosen few. Only the most wicked souls, chosen by the powers of the underworld, may become a part of my unholy ministry. Cut your flesh and spill your blood into the chalice, for this test will require the essence of your very life. And know this, Benoit...your very life is on the line. For if you fail this this trial of blood and hellfire, you will yourself be sacrificed to the powers of darkness on this very night. Once you spill your blood into the chalice, there is no going back. If your soul is truly as dark and evil as mortal men say, you will have nothing to fear.
The Undertaker !!1C2erSR+Vlt
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Now we will add your life's dark essence to the devil's fountain of blood...and now we will see what sort of creature comes forth...
The Undertaker !!1C2erSR+Vlt
Very good, Benoit...you have exceeded our expectations, for now we can see that your life's essence is truly one with the powers of darkness. The concentrated evil that runs in your blood was powerful enough to resurrect a fallen member of the Ministry, the one known as Gangrel! Not only have you passed the test, but you have also made the Ministry of Darkness even stronger. Let the hearts of the living tremble and quake with fear, for the Ministry has a destiny to fulfill...that destiny is to enslave all the world in the name of our dark master, to bring about a thousand years of darkness, and to make this weak and corrupted thing that they call the human race...to BURN...IN...HELL!
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it will be another Iron Eagle Cup qualifying match...Introducing first, from El Paso, Texas, weighing 220 pounds...this is the notorious Latino Heat, Eddie Guerrero!
Entrance Video:
https://www.bitchute.com/video/GTCpJ4rs4Blv Entrance Theme:
https://files.catbox.moe/n4oupn.mp3 Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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And his opponent...from Mexico City, weighing 180 pounds...prepare yourselves for MISTICO!
Entrance Video:
https://www.bitchute.com/video/Zx2xvQXghbbP Entrance Theme:
https://files.catbox.moe/1q0k9c.mp3 Anonymous
>>19984299 the shit with skeletor and the hoochie is pure gold lol
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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>Thus far, Mistico is undefeated here in K-WAB Wrestling. However, in this tournament he knows that he must face a greater challenge, and thus his road becomes much harder from here. This man is a hero to an entire nation, but only time will tell if he can rise up and claim the cruiserweight gold.
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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>But on the other side of the ring, we have Eddie Guerrero, and he's here to bring that latino heat! He's coming off a recent win against Psicosis, so Eddie's got some momentum as well. With so much on the line, you can bet that he will be pulling out all the stops!
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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And now it's time for the final Iron Eagle Cup qualifying match. As before, the loser will be eliminated and the winner will move on. Mistico and Eddie Guerrero will battle it out tonight on Metal, and it's possible that something surprising and humorous may occur.
https://www.bitchute.com/video/5T5Xyw03zazy Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>19984537 based, nice to see gangrel joining the circus
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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>Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, advancing to the next round of the Iron Eagle Cup...Mistico!
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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>>19984562 Glad you liked it brother. We got plenty more KINO lined up tonight so stick with me.
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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And as per usual, Mistico is celebrating with the fans after his epic victory. He even got some free tacos out of the deal, so he has plenty of reason to be happy.
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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As some of you might remember, I was recently forced to bail Sunny out of trouble with the law. The whole story can be seen here:
https://www.bitchute.com/video/0rQOL3BOB1yb As such, she now owes me $10,000 worth of blowjobs. I don't want to fuck her because her diseased fish hole is as wide as the grand canyon, and so she's going to serve as my personal fleshlight for quite awhile. So now, Sunny's going to work off a little more of her debt while we take a quick commercial break. We'll be right back!
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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>Promotional consideration paid for by the following
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
>Hello to all my sickos out there! This is AEW president Tony Khan, but I'm not here to talk about wrestling today. I understand that some of you guys on /pw/ seem to think that I'm a cokehead. Well, they are wrong! I don't just do cocaine, you see...instead, I mix my cocaine with heroin, bath salts, dried dog semen and a little bit of orange peel to create TONY KHAN'S DYNAMITE SPEEDBALLS! That's right sickos, I named my show after my favorite drug blend! Now you know why I signed Mike Bailey as well...and today, I am proud to offer TONY KHAN'S DYNAMITE SPEEDBALLS to the world! That's right, thanks to some well-placed bribes with various government officials, my father Shad has allowed me to sell this special blend as an over-the-counter medicine! So head out to your local pharmacy right now! Tell them you have a bad cough and only TONY KHAN'S DYNAMITE SPEEDBALLS will do! When you've got a hard day of booking shows, working marks and smarks, and wanking dogs ahead of you, you need the kind of psycho chihuahua energy that can only come from my special little mixture. Since our shows aren't drawing so well these days, we need you to help support AEW and the Khan Cartel by purchasing these little baggies of joy. TONY KHAN'S DYNAMITE SPEEDBALLS are the real secret of my family's success, and today you can purchase them for the low low price of just $500 a gram! The price is high because a lot of our smugglers have been killed by airstrikes lately, but don't worry because 1% of all proceeds from the sale of TONY KHAN'S DYNAMITE SPEEDBALLS will be used to support their families! That's what a good guy I am! >NOTE: All the dog semen included in TONY KHAN'S DYNAMITE SPEEDBALLS is personally harvested by Tony Khan himself, and sourced only from the most hyperactive chihuahuas that we can find! >individual purchases must not exceed $999,999
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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>Are you tired of paying dues at your local gym, only to fail in your bodybuilding goals? Well, let me tell you what you need. What you need is a hardcore gym that will help you to become just as PUMPED and JACKED as me, Adam Cole bay bay! But around here, some people call me ADAM SWOLE because of my huge 7-inch pythons! Yes, you too can achieve the look of a Greek God and make all the ladies fall at your feet! You too can have the strength to lift an elephant and throw it over the top of Mount Everest! And it all starts when you come down to Adam Cole's gym and sign up for one of our premium membership plans. I will show you the secrets that made me one of the most amazing physical specimens in the history of mankind, so come on down now and remember this: If you train with Cole, you will get SWOLE, bay bay!
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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>Hi wrestling fans, it's me Dave Meltzer from WON, and I'm uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh here to tell you about my newest business venture. Since some of my other investments aren't making any money (not going to say which ones), I decided to start a chain of hamburger restaurants so that I can, uh, you know, serve good burgers to everyone. Oh but uhhhh these aren't just regular burgers, guys. These are MELTZER BURGERS. That's right, these burgers will uuuhhhh jump right out of the bag and start doing flips and cartwheels right there on your dinner table! They're also uhhhh guaranteed to do 500 false finishes whenever they have a match, and the whole thing will go on for several hours and none of what they say will be in English either. Yes, these burgers taste like uhhhh dog shit, but you're such a smark you'll eat these nasty motherfuckers and tell all your friends how great they are. That's the Meltzer Burger guarantee!
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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>Well Goldie, it looks like you didn't have much luck in your match with that big gorilla Ryback. You look kinda sad, but don't worry because the brain is here to help. I think you got potential, kid. Why, with my help, you could be an upper midcarder within a year or three! But without me, let's face it, you'll never be anything but a jobber around here. I'll be honest with you Goldie, you aren't the best I've ever seen but you're far from the worst. I'm sure I can do something with ya. So whattaya say? Want to join the Heenan Family? >Goldberg nods
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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NEXT WEEK ON K-WAB HYPE ZONE...
Anonymous
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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Alright everyone, it's time to see how Kane is doing in hell. As longtime fans will know, Kane was sent to hell by The Undertaker at Samhain Sacrifice (
https://www.bitchute.com/video/LEC7xhtSxp6o ), but that was not the end of his story. When he went before the devil on SNME10, Kane was told that he must face trial by combat to determine the fate of his soul. He must now face a series of opponents handpicked by Satan, and we have made arrangements to broadcast these matches to you. And so, LIVE FROM THE PITS OF HELL, we now take you over to Hellfire Wrestling!
HFW Theme (I Can't Wait To Die So I Can Burn In Hell by LyricKING):
https://files.catbox.moe/9e26y8.mp3 Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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And now it is time to reveal Kane's first opponent. For round 1, the devil has selected the notorious shitposter known as BITCHTITS. That's right, the original Bitchtits has been dead for some time now. According to our sources, he finally did the squealing star press from the top of the silo and joined the hellfed run by Mr. Satan.
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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And it looks like their ring announcer is Josef Stalin. let's just patch in the audio here...
>Fellow damned souls, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it will be a special HELLFIRE MATCH, which means that the loser must BURN! Introducing first...from Vinny's pig farm in Stamford, Connecticut, weighing 251 pounds...he is the pig with tits, the calamity with the mammaries, the notorious shitposter known as BITCHTITS! Entrance Video:
https://www.bitchute.com/video/23vvXbMFVR6i Entrance Theme:
https://files.catbox.moe/v7d2sq.mp3 Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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>And his opponent...from parts unknown, weighing 323 pounds...facing his first round of TRIAL BY COMBAT...he is the big red machine, KANE! Entrance Video:
https://www.bitchute.com/video/018cRcWo0nyB Entrance Theme:
https://files.catbox.moe/53prvi.mp3 SATAN !!ifXzXQjdeDg
Quoted By:
I AM SATAN AND I AM TAKING OVER THIS BROADCAST! YOU WILL BOW DOWN AND SACRIFICE GOATS TO MY UNHOLY WICKEDNESS! WHAT?!? YOU DON'T HAVE A GOAT, YOU SAY?!? Alright then...for now, you little piggies can show your obedience by watching this match. Kane is going to face a somewhat easy challenge this time, but sometimes little piggies like Bitchtits can prove to be more bothersome than expected. Click the link below to see which of these little piggies will go in the fire! That's right, this is a HELLFIRE MATCH, and that means the loser must BURN!
https://www.bitchute.com/video/oyxN9kVoso5V SATAN !!ifXzXQjdeDg
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fellow damned souls, here is your winner...KANE!
SATAN !!ifXzXQjdeDg
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Well, it looks as if Kane has passed his first challenge. I expected no less. Now it's time for this little piggy to BURN! AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! BURN PIGGY BURN! OH YES I CAN SMELL THE BACON SIZZLING AS HE WRITHES IN TORMENT! HIS SQUEALS ARE MUSIC TO MY WICKED EARS AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!
Anonymous
Ah the horsefucker pedo threads are continuing. Shame, I thought you went to discord
SATAN !!ifXzXQjdeDg
Very good, Kane. But that was only the first round of your trial by combat. As we go, your challenges will become more difficult. Do not think too highly of yourself, Kane, for I assure you that you will never fight your way out of hell. At the end of this challenge, you will face a demon so fierce that all in hell fear to speak his name. But for now, your next challenger will be another little piggy. This little piggy is known by a number of names, but let's just say I had to give him some new legs. This piggy on wheels should be another easy win for you, so enjoy your victory while you can. When all is said and done, you will become my faithful servant just like your brother.
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
Quoted By:
Fuck off Satan, this is my damn show! I went and got me an exorcist to banish your fat red ass off my frequency!
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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Alright, now that we've successfully fended off the wiles of the devil himself, let's move on to our next segment. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome K-WAB Vice President LyricKING!
Anonymous
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>>19984956 nobodys interested in your hobbies son
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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Thank you, thank you....it's great to be back, and I hope all of you are enjoying this episode of Saturday Night Metal. This one is really meant to be packed with content to make up for recent delays. As such, I have done three new songs for this episode. Two of them you have already heard:
HellFire Wrestling Theme (I can't wait to die so I can burn in hell):
https://files.catbox.moe/9e26y8.mp3 Bitchtits Theme:
https://files.catbox.moe/v7d2sq.mp3 The third one is a brand new 92 single written by one of the good lyricCHADs of /pw/. This one was so good that it had to be polished up and made into reality. It's a parody of The Undertaker's biker theme (You're Gonna Pay). But this version is called "You're Fuckin' Raped." As usual, it relates to the brutal rape of our good friend Kevin Nash in the sizzling hot summer of 1992.
You're Fuckin' Raped:
https://files.catbox.moe/le077b.mp3 Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
Alright everyone, now it's time for a moment that I have been awaiting with great anticipation. As you may remember, Wolfie was sentenced in wrestler's court to suffer seven deadly KWABs. Four have already been administered. For Wolfie's fifth KWAB, he must endure THE DUNKING BOOTH OF POO. As we speak, Big Knife Manju and Subhojeet Mukherjee are filling the dunking booth with the most horrible curry shits that they can produce! Now it's time to bring out the condemned!
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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Bailiffs! Put his bitch ass in that booth!
Anonymous
>>19985040 now this is what ive been waiting for. fuck you wolfbitch, i cant wait to see you eat shit again.
Anonymous
>>19983366 They unironically named the promotion "Kek, what a bitch?"
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
Quoted By:
Alright, now someone just has to hit that little red target with this here baseball, and Wolfie will be plunged into the tub of Indian curry poo! Even now, in this terrible position, Wolfie is still an asshole.
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
Quoted By:
>>19985051 Afraid not sir. K-WAB stands for
>Kino Wrestling for Autistic Bastards Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
Looks like someone from the crowd has stepped up to make the first throw! Let's see if they can put Wolfie into the poo! OH too bad guy, looks like you missed. that shot was a little too low. But don't worry, there's another volunteer right behind you. Step right up, everyone, step right up!
>>19985048 Don't be shy, step right up and take a throw! Digits dunks the wolf!
Anonymous
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
Quoted By:
>>19985083 I'm afraid that was another miss, but you can try again if you want, as can anyone else itt. Any digits will be sufficient to dunk the wolf.
Anonymous
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
>>19985092 OH SHIT!! You didn't just get digits, anon...you got the digits that Wolfie hates the most! Truly the meme magic is with us tonight. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! Wolfie goes into the curry shit stew!
Down he goes, into the filthy depths! Just look at his bitch ass thrashing around! Just imagine all the terrible diseases that must be present in that nasty Indian poo! Imagine the terrible smell that he must be enduring in there! That curry-infused shit is burning my nostrils even from here, so I can only imagine how badly he must be suffering! That's what you get, wolfbitch. Now we're going to take a short break while everyone in the crowd takes their turn to dunk this little faggot.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>19985107 cant believe i actually hit that shit lmao
GRUG !!zYOvIWiiw7a
Quoted By:
Now time for Rock Talk with Grug! Me have good news for tribe. Rock Talk go back to full animated video! No more catbox! catbox take big shit sometimes, no work! And Big Chief Pepe, he say he have new way to animate Grug show, not take so long. This make Grug happy, so Grug dance around fire with other Grugs until stupid Grug step on foot, so Grug bonk!
GRUG !!zYOvIWiiw7a
Before me make new show, Grug have to catch up! Grug do two shows with video: one with Mr Jimcornette, one with Ultimate Warrior. Then, Grug do two shows with no video, one with Wolfman and one with big chief Hogan. So this week, me do video for Wolfman interview. This one happen at big spooky Halloween festival. Now, enough talk from Grug! Here is link. You watch, or Grug bonk!
https://www.bitchute.com/video/VCH5kYVXTIBs And here links for first two episodes too:
https://www.bitchute.com/video/ZrObu7Jd998z https://www.bitchute.com/video/FPUEGF9ArzHN https://www.bitchute.com/video/Wv0wCtGnPZyJ Next me do meeting with big chief Hogan, then make new one! Grug bring much KINO for tribe!
*rocks clack*
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
Quoted By:
It's almost time for the big main event, and K-WAB World Heavyweight Champion Sabu is getting himself hyped up for all the violence that will soon commence. Not really sure what he gets out of banging himself with a chair, but who am I to judge?
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
Quoted By:
Ladies and gentlemen, the following main event contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the K-WAB World Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first, the challenger...
from One Warrior Nation, weighing 280 pounds...THE ULLLLLLTIMATE WARRIORRRRRRRRR!!!!
Entrance Video:
https://www.bitchute.com/video/K2dWze9xWzw3 Entrance Theme:
https://files.catbox.moe/5fpx7t.mp3 Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
Quoted By:
And his opponent...from Bombay, Michigan, weighing 236 Pounds...The K-WAB Heavyweight Champion of the woooooooooooorld......he is the homicidal, suicidal, genocidal death defying madman known as SABU!
Entrance Video:
https://www.bitchute.com/video/Zjfh8pLAFoVS Entrance Theme:
https://files.catbox.moe/57s6fl.mp3 Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
Quoted By:
And referee Orko holds the world title high for all to see! This one's for all the marbles, folks!
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
Quoted By:
It's been a hell of a show, but now it's time for the MAIN EVENT. Sabu is putting his title on the line against The Ultimate Warrior. Both competitors are ready and chomping at the bit, and we've already hyped this match about as much as we possibly can so let's just get right down to it! Here is our final match for the evening: Sabu Vs The Ultimate Warrior for the World Heavyweight title.
https://www.bitchute.com/video/8Z87jMjM8IYh Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
>Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner...AND NEEEEEEEEWWWWWW K-WAB WRESTLING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...THE ULLLLLTIMATE WARRRIORRRRRRRR!!!
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
Quoted By:
>Fear...fear is an aberration. Fear is the air that cowards breathe. Fear is the first taste of defeat! The Ultimate Warrior knows no fear *snort*, and all my warriors have learned the lessons of DESTRUCITY, and now they too walk through this world with fear for no man. Now behold, my warriors! I have led you to victory! I have made my great vision into reality! I have conquered the highest mountain, and now we will blast off across the cosmos just as the spirits have foretold! The spaceship has been launched, the sword has been forged, and now the new era of DESTRUCITY can *snort* begin at last! Sabu, you too are a warrior, for you pushed me to the very limits of my power, but no man can stand in the way of destiny! No man can stand in the path of ULTIMATE DESTRUCITY and hope to resist the mighty spirit of the ULLLLLLLTIMATE*snort*WARRIORRRRRRRRRR*snort*RRRRRRRRRRRR! The Warrior only breathes the air of the brave and the Warrior only feasts on the fruit of VICTORY!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>19985237 FUCKING BASED! LOAD THE SPACESHIP WITH THE ROCKET FUEL!
Frenly Apu !!ojHh2GMfBkG
Quoted By:
Frenly Apu again, and this time I'm here to present the KWAB of the week award. While we saw a few people take serious KWABs this week, it seems pretty obvious that Wolfie has clinched the award once again. Takeshita was definitely a close second, so we're giving him a dishonorable mention, but this well-timed get
>>19985092 was more than enough to make Wolfie the KWAB of the week.
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
Quoted By:
Frens, we promised you a packed show, and I do believe we have delivered. Let's take a quick look at tonight's match results.
Frenly Apu !!ojHh2GMfBkG
Quoted By:
Let's take a look at the current rankings and see how tonight's results have affected them. >Shingo Takagi defended his #2 contendership against Ultimo Dragon. Dragon remains at #6. (Cruiserweight division) >The Steiner Bros. defeated The Snake Mountain Crew to claim the vacant #7 spot. Snake Mountain Crew remains unranked. (Tag division) >Mistico defended his #3 contendership against Eddie Guerrero. Guerrero remains at #8. (Cruiserweight division) >Kane defeated Bitchtits, but this one had no effect on the rankings because it was not a K-WAB sanctioned match. However, it did get Kane one step closer to fighting his way out of hell. >The Ultimate Warrior defeated Sabu to claim the World Heavyweight Title. Thus, Sabu switches spots with the Warrior and becomes the #1 contender.
Archive Apu !!YsRMKmU7/5j
Archive Apu here, just coming out of the archive room to drop some links to previous shows. You can use these links to catch up on anything that you may have missed. If you're looking for something specific and you don't want to go looking through all these threads, ask me for some help and I will be happy to point you in the right direction. I am also authorized to share images, transparencies, audio clips, etc. upon request.
Saturday Night Rumble 1:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/19706595 Hype Zone Episode 3:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/19664431 Sunday Night Yuletide 2025:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/19622643 Hype Zone Episode 2:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/19611276 Saturday Night Metal Ep. 11:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/19528376 Hype Zone Episode 1:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/19508256 Saturday Night Metal Ep. 10:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/19331735 Samhain Sacrifice Night 2:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/19202363 Samhain Sacrifice Night 1:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/19187849 Saturday Night Metal Ep. 9:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/19031496 Saturday Night Metal Ep. 8:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/18976080 Saturday Night Metal Ep. 7:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/18926176 Saturday Night Metal Ep. 6:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/18812145 Saturday Night Metal Ep. 5:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/18761416 Saturday Night Metal Ep. 4:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/18700473 Saturday Night Metal Ep. 3:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/18636314 Saturday Night Metal Ep. 2:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/18303396 Saturday Night Metal Ep. 1:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/18232795 Independence Day Rumble:
https://archive.palanq.win/pw/thread/18159930 Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
NEXT WEEK ON K-WAB HYPE ZONE:>Kevin Nash Vs New Jack >Hulk Hogan Vs Bobby Eaton >The Road Warriors Vs The Invaders
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
Ladies and gentlemen, this concludes our broadcast for the evening. It has been a very eventful evening indeed. Apart from the matches themselves, we have seen all sorts of strange events including an attempted takeover of the show by the devil. However, you can rest assured that even the forces of hell will not stop us from delivering the KINO to the good people of /pw/. We thank all of you who have continued to support K-WAB and make all our efforts worthwhile, and we hope you have found this little autistic circus to be worth your time. Until next time, this is Pepe Von Erich signing off.
Saturday Night Metal Outro Theme:
https://files.catbox.moe/ggmj2l.mp3 Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>19985388 amazing show, glad to see the animation continuing to improve. you should look into using blender if you arent already.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>19985368 looking forward ro the inevitable rape of kevin nash
Anonymous
This that horse lover thing?
Anonymous
>>19986176 lol i think this brony got lost and came to the wrong board.
Anonymous
>>19985388 thank you GOAT, this is the last truly based wrestling on earth
Anonymous
Anonymous
Yo Pepe can we get a mask off match anytime soon
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>19985165 grug is /ourcaveman/
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
Quoted By:
>>19987178 Glad you enjoyed the show, fren. As for the mask off match idea, I had been thinking about doing a parody of all the "masked man" stuff that WWE has been running lately. could be a good comedy hook.
Anonymous
>>19985350 how about dropping the mp4 with terry funk exploding trannies?
Anonymous
>>19986176 >>19986411 >>19984956 The only one who knows anything about horsefucking is of course yourself and that loose nog-loving cooze of a mother of yours. Word around the stable is she's the most popular mare and can take Mr. Ed down to his nuts in all three holes.Of course you would know everything cause you were born out of the slut's asshole because her cunt was so busy.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>19988445 kek cooked that pig
Archive Apu !!YsRMKmU7/5j
>>19988435 Not a problem. This one came from Samhain Sacrifice night two and was part of the righteous troon massacre at the end of the show.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>19988782 nice, thanks apu
Anonymous
>>19988445 >I'm not a horsefucker >writes a detailed fantasy about horsefucking lmfao
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>19989059 Well, your mom has to pay for bus fsre SOMEhow...
Anonymous
>>19989059 Well, your fat slut of a mom of your has to pay for bus fare SOMEhow...
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>19989113 You saw that movie too, huh?
Anonymous
>>19989080 >still going lmao
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>19989148 >The equine rape baby seethes "N-no u." Stay mad.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
And now, PNN presents: NEWSFLASH!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>GOODEVENINGGOODEVENINGGOODEVNING, GOOD EVENING! >HI-HO, this is Pepe from PNN News coming at you in the wake of yet another SOOOOOLD out show at the 4chan Municipal Arena. Yet ANOTHER absolute classic put on by the esteemed, one Mister Pepe Von Erich. The spectacle for the ages concluded hours ago and as of now, the jannies are wiping down all the arena seats from all the shit streaks left behind by the all the K-WAB fans. Earn them paycheques, boys! >We have seen an incredible event, folks, and we're all still reeling from it. The amount of dimes that have been pouring into K-WAB has not been for want as the production values of the show has gone through the roof. The illustrious twelfth episode of K-WAB Saturday Night METAL capped off the crowning of a NEW world's heavyweight wrestling champion with Destrucity overpowering the homicidal, suicidal, genocidal maniac Sabu and it was a classic. As the prestige and the lineage of the world title continues on, we were also finally graced with the reveal of the newly designed and minted K-WAB Cruiserweight championship belt that will be awarded to the recipient and winner of the first of many junior heavyweight spectaculars underway, the inaugural Iron Eagle tournament. The best cruiserweights in the world will be competing in an acrobatic, intense and dynamic series of matches to find who is the best in the world and indeed, who is the best of the based. K-WAB's collection of coveted gold hardware and regalia continues to grow with the impending introduction of the women's championship soon to be revealed. Tonight's winners in their respective qualifying contests, Shingo Takagi and Mistico, will go on to compete in that illustrious competition and everyone at PNN wishes the best of luck to all the participants.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>It most CERTAINLY was a very foreboding and menacing episode of wrestling KINO to go along with the impeccable rise in production values of the show. The Undertaker. Ominous, awesome... has reemerged with a cadre of new and old allies and associates with his newly reformed and rechristened New Ministry of Darkness. This iteration of The Phenom is a FAR cry from The Undertaker who frequents threads on /pw/ on Friday nights to wish frens and anons to have an upcoming bad ass weekend. Reuniting with the rotund, porcine and portly high-pitched voiced pest Paul Bearer who has tapped into a new conduit of evil energy from the dark side, it can only be Bad News Bears when those two find common ground. With the M.O.D. not been seen on the wrestling landscape since April 1999 prior to merging with The Corporation, this new mysterious group is growing in membership with the arrival of the one dog unleashed from the enclosed pool area, David Benoit! A dark man who underwent a dark ceremony with a dark purpose, he has fulfilled his initiation rite of passage with The Undertaker and partook in a blood drinking ceremony to seal his fate and his baptism into evil. What this entails is anyone's guess as this foul and dreadful sacrament was followed up by something else just as shocking and malevolent!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>With what appeared to be an esoteric blood magic ritual, emerging from a flowing fountain of bubbling globules of hemoglobin was the reappearance and debut of the infamous wrestling vamp---err, sorry...the "alternative lifestyle enthusiast", Gangrel! FANGIN' AND BANGIN' has come to K-WAB, folks, gyad-DAAAMN! Manifesting from a wretched blood tribute from that wayward soul David, Gangrel was returned to resume his infernal duties as The Undertaker's servant. The New Ministry as it now stands is composed of The Undertaker's leadership, Paul Bearer's infernal guidance, David Benoit's bottomless cringe and now the server of the Blood Bath, Gangrel, has rejoined their ranks. Their dark machinations and ultimate intentions have yet to be revealed, but make no mistake about it; they have dire plans for the entirety of mankind, and indeed, perhaps even the fabric of reality itself. Could we see either a return of The Acolytes or even a reformation of the The Brood? We of course will update you on this story as it develops when PNN is able to spare the reporter willing to risk his neck to keep this story in the public's eye. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idi4ThBQnic&list=RDidi4ThBQnic&start_radio=1 Anonymous
Quoted By:
>We follow this story up with something a little more lighter but no means any less intriguing or controversial; with not but only a small invitation and a reminder of his recent loss to Rybitch, Goldberg has seemingly agreed to join forces with yet another legendary stable, and not the kind of stable for fly-infested horses that wolfie comes here to confess that he fucks on the daily. From the red hills of Georgia Championship Wrestling to the icy plains of Minnesota with the American Wrestling Association and finally to the big city in the World Wrestling Federation, the Heenan Family is seeming to be reforming under the leadership of the groups namesake, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. Many legends of the sport have found themselves under the tutelage and graces of The Weasel over an amazing twenty two year history. With names such as Nick Bockwinkel, The Blackjacks, Ken Patera, Toru Tanaka, "Big Cat" Ernie Ladd, Big John Studd, King Kong Bundy, Paul Ordorff, Harley Race, Andre The Giant, Rick Rude, Haku, Mr. Perfect and The Brainbusters, and boasting a collection of accomplishments and championship gold from three separate organizations, it was a force to be reckoned with in the wrestling world and has now it seems returned in K-WAB Wrestling.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Goldberg didn't so much as say a word to the proposal Bobby Heenan gave him and has accepted his recruitment as his latest acquisition. Heenan's reputation speaks for itself; he is no stranger to success and with the right pair of ears and trust, he will take anyone to the top of any organization but we have all come to know that comes with a price, including treachery, backstabbing and of course, divestment and shady divergence of funds. Goldberg may very well benefit from this association, perhaps even embarking on a new winning streak of sorts and channeling that explosive offense of his or even gaining more gold around his waist under Bobby's guidance, but who knows how long the good times will last. Nevertheless, its only friends in the Heenan Family, but as Bobby himself would say, "A friend in need is a pest." Who else shall be joining forces with Bobby shall be seen and revealed in the coming weeks.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>From there, we had undergone yet another shocking revelation in a show jam packed solid with them! The broadcast feed was interrupted by The Father of Lies, The Demonic Prince Host, Beelzeboss himself, that's right: fucking SATAN! When not collecting the souls of sinners from the mortal plane and giving 24-hour marching orders to his minions in Tel Aviv, it appears that God's favorite angel indulges himself in pro-wrasslin' kino. From his own homegrown federation, H.F.W. (HellFire Wrestling), we were treated to an impromptu contest between a resident rotund porcine grunter, Mr. Hide-The-Fig-Up-My-Shiggy-Dig, Bitchtits, wobbling his lactating jubblies on his way to the ring to the bemusement of...no one. His opponent was fittingly, The Devil's Favourite Demon, the Big Dimes Machine himself, KAAAAANE! Kane, as many know, got lil' bro'd by The Undertaker and was banished to the fiery chasm below and is undergoing TRIALS BY COMBAT in order to reemerge back on earth and enact righteous vengeance on his brother. Until then, he has to do EPIC BATTLE against whatever monstrous machinations The Father of Lies bestows upon him. This one was a doozy and the bacon sure did fucking FRY as Bitchtits' fat pig belleh and gross fugly mantitties got served up pipin' hot as The Big Red Retarded Kino Machine enacted much long overdue punishment and comeuppances to that grunting sweathog faggot. It is a testament of wrestling storytelling being done here as what it seems from the outside, that KAAAANE is establishing wrath and FURIOUS vengeance on resident AIDS-infected assholes infesting /pw/.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Will we see the brown-thumbed, crack smoking self-admitted shoot pedophile Hogantranny face KANE in the hell he's obsessed with for all the crimes he has done on the board to besmirch the name of of the holy heavenly hoss himself Hulk Hogan, who while celebrating backstage, reminded us all that we DO use that word here?! Surely after getting shot in the ass by an ICE agent that was deporting his abuelita while curbstomping her dentures into the sidewalk would he be able to make his own debut in the ninth circle for Kane to face. We will of course keep everyone posted as this story and Kane's battles develop.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>This opens up an entirely new can of worms here for the investigation department at PNN; that of course, being the shocking revelation and confirmation of OTHER wrestling federations within the K-WAB universe, if it could be called that. Since its now been established that Satan has his own fed, no doubt that it implies that there could be others as well. Could there be invasions of other organizations to K-WAB in the future from other disgruntled or rival promotions, both supernatural or benign? While that may be speculation at this time, what is known is something that has been confirmed and hinted at by Pepe Von Erich himself in a prior episode; factions have been emerging rather quickly in K-WAB. Battle lines are beginning to be drawn between rival groups as alliances are materializing. With the residents of evil in The New Ministry of Darkness and the acquisitions of the newly reformed Heenan Family, all that can be certain is that with the arrival of new championships and accolades and fertile ground to wage war in the sacred ground of the K-WAB ring, a momentous clash of sorts is on the horizon as no doubt there will be a power struggle for control and dominance. Alongside this revelation, Degeneration X has also been making its presence in K-WAB known to all by their trademark pranks, antics and shenanigans, but they are not ones who will lay down like stepping stones to be walked over by nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-NOBODY and be caught in the crossfire between two warring entities when chaos and fun can be hand by playing both sides. No doubt that they two will soon be seeking allies and old friends to join them in protecting what's theirs and taking what they want too in the process, even if that means fucking with any of the other lesser tag teams that get in their way as was seen on the prior episode. Things are heating up as the board gets set and pieces begin to move...
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Therein lies a very real and developing issue as a clear and present picture comes into focus for this journalist: since the spooktacular Samhain Sacrifice event, what has been seen on these K-WAB shows has been a reoccurring pattern. Everyone's just thinking it and this reporters just saying it as he see's it: a satanic and dark influence has casted a long shadow onto the K-WAB wrestling world. With what only a mere 12 episodes in, dark times have already befallen the upstart /pw/ home board federation. What with monsters, pigtrannies, and cults making their presence known, evil cannot go on so long unchecked. Even The Big Bad Booty Daddy, the famed mathematician himself Scott Steiner, wasn't safe from sorcery beyond his control what with the disappearance of one of his hoochie-mama's in a match against Skeletor by that levitating lil' bastard referee, Orco. Who knows what dark realms he will have to venture to retrieve her from, cause lord knows Scott ain't settling for any bitch that's got some FAAAAAT ASSES and the numbers don't lie about that!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>If here be the time and reign of monsters, heroes will naturally always rise and righteousness will always rebalance and retake order, and that's a shoot, brother. If contentious and organized cliques, groups and blocs motivated by power, control, greed and dominance are organizing for war in the ring, then tradition, honor, heritage, and the deeper ties of blood not spilt for evil rituals; but from family and deep rooted bonding ties could cast light on to such bleak and foreboding times. Hell, what with all the cocaine that's flowing through the arena and Pepe's office these days, its a bit alarming that "The British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith and Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart alone haven't made overtures to join K-WAB and get in on the booger-sugar snowstroms kicking it up in the arena's executive offices. Nonetheless, with the return of new iterations of both The Ministry and The Heenan Family, K-WAB owes itself to begin extending contract offers to sign one who would right the course, reclaim the honor, and be the cornerstone of and for A New Foundation to not only fend off iniquity and immoral wrongdoing, but to return honor, glory and eminence to K-WAB's world championships.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>However, that's not to say that Bret, or even other members of the Hart Foundations of old aren't without their own demons. Seeing as how Satan has established that he himself now has his own wrestling promotion, no doubt lurking deep in the pits and confines of hell is a specter from Davey Boy Smith's past that could see a reappearance should The Harts start wrestling at K-WAB. It is also noteworthy that he is conspicuously absent from participating and competing in the inaugural Iron Eagle tournament this year. Nevertheless, should Davey Boy Smith and other Harts make an appearance and arrival in K-WAB and what with we know of the spirit realms presence in the federation, could we see the apparition of one Tommy "Dynamite Kid" Billington in the future, lurking as a ghost in the lockerroom ready to jump out and inject syringes full of milk into Davey Boy's asscheeks while telling him that its actually steroids? Stranger things have happened in wrestling, that's for damned sure.
Anonymous
>And with something of a much needed lighter note for this episode, this edition of Saturday Night METAL ends with the confirmation of the arrival of two debuts in the impending show. That is absolutely right, folks: Big Zesty, The Raped Bitch, The KWABOTC, The Back Alley Lurker, The Sonless Simp, the Baron of BLIZZACKED, the diesel truck en route to Compton himself, KEVIN R.B. NASH is making his first appearance in K-WAB wrestling. It is of course fitting after one wolfbitch's recent DEADLY KWAB of being dunked in a vat full of curry flavoured jeeetshit that Oz, The Wizard of Rectus Destructus, will arrive alongside the greatest nig to have ever nogged, I am talking about of course, the bounty hunter of the 92Krew, NEW JACK! This explosive and deeply penetrating encounter will hive dire consequences as surely, somebody in this equation is getting something stabbed up inside his ass and it could be the business end of something that New Jack fashioned out of a bayonet, or something even more harder, darker and no less erect. This historic back to back debut will of course take place on the thirteenth edition of the show and this will be an unlucky encounter for one of those competitors. PNN can't wait to see this UNPRECEDENTED landmark night of the industry.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>This of course is coming in the wake of some unfortunate turn of events and a SWERVE BRO that very few anticipated. A long awaited 19921992 get was expecting to arrive with great fanfare but alas, it was bamboozled by one of the deviant pedorinos inhabiting and infesting the numerous joshithreads that spam the board and clog the shit out of the catalogue. This act of great injustice finally had put an eye on a problem the board had been subject to for too long and that is the plague of joshi pedos finally being put into the 92Krew's crosshairs. Women shouldn't wrestle because they fucking can't and should stick to showing their tits and asses, dressing in slutty outfits, being eye candy and shutting their motherfucking mouths when they feel that oh so feminine urge to bitch about it. Joshipedo's don't actually care or talk about wrestling; they just share pictures of these titless bug-freaks and goon the fuck out while babytalking to each other. This reporter can't even pronounce or bother to recall the name of who it was that ended up with the get because its not worth reporting on, but noteworthy enough to mention. With the impending arrival of the K-WAB Woman's Championship due to appear any day now, the going word around the campfire is that it will simply dilute and dissolve K-WAB into being yet another waifu federation that dries up the quality of the content. Whilst this is a concern, it is highly likely to not impede any of the wrestling action that we have come to expect out of K-WAB so far. This reporter has no real opinion either or to the issue other than the desire to see the integrity of K-WAB upheld and the bugs squashed like it was Starship Troopers. Anybody that can get their jollies out of something that sounds like dolphins screeching while orgasming needs to give their weeb heads a shake. https://www.heavy-r.com/video/106853/Orgasm_like_a_formula_1_race_car/ Anonymous
>And that concludes this digest and deep dive into this evenings episode. It is this news organizations esteemed and most distinct pleasure to behold such amazing action from the Kino Wrestling for Autistic Bastards sports spectacular weekly show and is a gracious return of wrestling, that's right, WRESTLING spelled W-R-E-S-T-L-I-N-G make its long overdue RETURN to /pw/. And we can't wait to see all that's in store in the coming days. And with that, we salute to the conclusion of episode 12 and look forward and toast to episode one HUNDRED and twelve. >From the news desk at PNN, this is Pepe signing off. Farewell
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>19990273 This is an excellent and highly detailed report. Thank you news pepe for once again delivering some great extra content for the show. I would like to add a few comments of my own for good measure. First of all, I am extremely gratified to see that this show has been well-received thus far. We are constantly doing our best to improve the show because that is what you, our loyal fans, both need and deserve. With the rotten state of most wrestling shows these days, we think it is more important than ever to deliver the best and most based product that we can.
As to the rise of evil forces within K-WAB, I would like to assure everyone that I am not a satanist or anything like that. I think it is important to have heels that are truly evil, and satanic stuff is a natural fit for that. However, as we saw at the Samhain Sacrifice deathmatch tournament, good can triumph over evil and heroes will always indeed rise to meet its challenge. And even though the show ended with the dark forces coming out on top, Kane's story is far from over. The idea of Kane having to fight his way out of the hellfed is actually something that was planned from the very beginning of this company.
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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>>19990491 lol my bad, forgot the trip there
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
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>>19990273 Moving on, Goldberg is indeed getting a little bit of a second chance with his addition to the Heenan family. Working with DX didn't work out so well for him, so he needed a new direction. Only time will tell if it will be possible for him to be redeemed, but it will largely depend on how our fans react to him. Bitchtits may be back another time, but Kane's next challenge will be another infamous and hated character of this board, as hinted at here:
>>19984959 I honestly hadn't considered the possibility of including the Hogantranny in Kane's trial by combat because we have a hard ban on all troons, which I will not violate for any reason. That being said, HFW is a different company and so it wouldn't really violate the ban. I will have to consider this matter further because there are good arguments both for and against that idea. It's a pretty good idea and I thank you for contributing it.
I can tell you definitely want me to sign the Hart foundation, and I can assure you that it will definitely happen at some point. To be honest, the only reason it hasn't happened yet is the fact that all of them require extensive work on their CAWs and entrances. CAW work is some of the most time-consuming stuff that I do, so I have to add people slowly. But with so many factions forming and fighting, and with the fact that DX is already here, the Harts would be a good fit.
Pepe Von Erich !!kzFsPJ8+7a6
>>19990273 To conclude, I would like to say that I do not think it's a good idea to start a war between the joshifags and the 92 crew. This board does not need another massive internecine conflict and that one has the potential to go truly nuclear. Besides, there is actually only one of the joshiposters that has provoked the wrath of the 92posters. The smart thing would be to take a more targeted approach and simply meme on him and his waifu specifically. The Akiraposter does not seem very popular with the other joshi fans, so there is no need to start a war here. We may not all like the same things, but we have to at least try and get along because we all share this place and none of us are normal people by any stretch anyway.
All that being said, you do not need to worry about K-WAB becoming a waifufed. That will absolutely never happen. As I have stated before, I think women's wrestling has its place, but it will never dominate the show. I try to represent many different types of wrestling on these shows, and I don't want any one style to be too dominant. As for the Women's title, beltmaker Pepe is already hard at work on it, but he's pretty slow so it might take awhile. The current plan is to try and crown the first women's champion at KINOMANIA but that plan could change.
Again, I wish to thank PNN News for their hard work and attention to detail.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
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>>19990258 KWAB kev was always raped
Anonymous
>>19985350 i could use a good wolfie transparency for meme purposes
Archive Apu !!YsRMKmU7/5j
Archive Apu !!YsRMKmU7/5j
>>19991633 and here's another
Anonymous
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>>19992317 thanks archive apu!
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>19983366 another KINO episode
Anonymous
>>19995853 this shit keeps getting better while the real thing keeps getting worse
Anonymous
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>>19992304 I think I can do something with that lol
Anonymous
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>>19996473 sadly so, theres barely any real wrestling I still like.
