(First quest. Expect fuckups. More concrete stats/character sheet/data as we go.)
You are an unremarkable mortal. You LURK on imageboards and CONSUME fictional media.
While you've read and watched through many series, the conceit of "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure" has always enthralled you, compensating exposure to ABSURDITY and even BLOODSHED with fantastic powers reflecting one's SOUL. While you are up to date on the original manga (from the beginning to the latest installment, the JOJOLANDS), the anime adaptation, and even spin-off material, there is one story arc cemented in your head as your very FAVORITE. [roll 1d9 for your favorite part, will choose the mode]
You are only vaguely aware of your background as you regain consciousness. You are slumped against a stone wall. It's pretty dark, and there are unfamiliar sounds and lights in the distance. The night air is warm and a bit dusty. You can just about make out you're in some sort of alleyway.
You manage to get to your feet. You start to remember piddling little details like your NAME, AGE, ORIGIN, and...
...Wait.
Your eyes trail a long shadow on the ground up to the distance, where it's cast by a tall silhouette. Someone is approaching you. It's a man with a bird on his shoulder, but it doesn't take the foreknowledge of a BIZARRE loremaster to realize that it's no mere man and no mere bird.
That's <span class="mu-s">DIO</span> himself! And his pet falcon, <span class="mu-s">Pet Shop</span>!
Do you: >Try summoning your ULTIMATE POWERS. You're in a strange locale that's not your bed! This is clearly a lucid dream! >Oh shit! Muster your strength and try to get away! >Yawn and fall back asleep. This is clearly a dream! You're not interesting enough to have actually been swept off to another world. >This doesn't feel like a dream. Your body feels like ice melting into the ground. He's getting closer and you're sweating, bile bubbling up your throat and piss threatening to trickle out of you as the 'gravity' of your situation sets in. >Hold. Running is useless and your legs feel like lead. Wrack your AMPLE knowledge of the source material and LACKING knowledge of social interactions for a good first impression. >Write-in. [can choose 2 of above]
You are Uzumaki Naori, and your name is both respected and feared for good reason throughout the shinobi world. Your encyclopedic knowledge of forbidden shinobi techniques and your prowess as a Sage allowed you to stand alone against the revived ‘demon’ Ōtsutsuki Kaguya-hime for a time – a feat which led even that being to refer to you as a ‘God of War’. But for all your power to be a ‘vengeful god’, you’d vastly prefer to be a ‘compassionate god’ of the sort that Kaguya-hime failed to be.
And so while you could easily have invaded the mind of Kaka Hana-han, an instructor at the Konoha Academy who has been identified as an unwitting assassin planted there by the Land of Bamboo years ago, you instead chose to ask her permission to search for the information you need.
“Then yeah,” you begin, “I’d like your permission to sort through your memories from the Land of Bamboo. I think you may be blocking a lot of useful information subconsciously.”
“Useful?” she repeats, uncertain. “Useful in what sense?”
“So if it were me, right?” you clarify. “If I had a program that could churn out capable incognito assassins, why would I stop at the one?”
“You believe I may know something that could keep other people safe.”
“Including the target you were meant to go after,” you add. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I think.”
“Yukiwari Kae-hime,” Hana-sensei frowns.
“How would your ‘other half’ respond to that?” you ask.
She doesn’t need long to come to a conclusion. “Not well.”
“So yeah, what would you like me to do about that? If anything?”
“I’d prefer that you not try to do anything extreme, if you can avoid it,” she replies. “My ‘other half’, the ‘assassin’ as Shiki-kun calls her… she never had much of a choice, did she?”
“I guess not,” you agree.
“In a way she reminds me of a student from a bad home background,” Hana-sensei clarifies. “It makes me feel like I want to help her, you know? I know it’s hard to explain, and it may be hard to understand, but I kind of can’t help it.”
You nod. “I can’t say I completely agree, but I guess I can understand – you are who you are, and if getting rid of your other personality means giving up on who you are, then I guess you really don’t really have much choice.”
“Alright,” you decide, shutting your eyes for a moment before reopening them to reveal a sharingan. “Then we’ll begin.” >1/2
Oh man, the world’s really gone to shit over the last couple decades. Monster attacks are on the rise practically everywhere, and our brightest minds can’t figure out why. It could be habitat destruction, atmospheric instability, or an omen of the End Times, but what matters to you is that the economy’s been in a slump for the entirety of your adult life. Nobody wants to set up shop if their employees are going to open a phishing email and fall prey to a cyber-curse, or be spirited away by kelpies on the subway. Or wake up drained of all fluids by a succubus after a one-night stand. Or, just, get fucking incinerated by a red dragon. Whatever it is, whether human lives or commercial real estate, it’s all falling apart remarkably quickly.
In an attempt to curb the looming threat, which clearly has local law enforcement overwhelmed, the World Overseers brought back the bounty system from olden times. There are so many desperate people out there that more than a few have been willing to risk it all for the sake of a juicy bounty; and there are juicy bounties to spare, so long as you’re willing to square off against an ancient magic beast or blood-crazed mutant monster. It doesn’t come with insurance, but if you’re somewhat skilled at killing, bounty-hunting can be your last chance out of the cycle of poverty, shift-work, and unemployment lines.
The Nation of Ferrovia has fractured with the death of king Harold with three successor states and a bandit kingdom now fighting over the nation's future. King Elric, the king's brother backed by the landed nobility of the country, wages war in hopes of holding up the monarchy and by connection with the landed gentry. As he styles himself now Lord protector Baric attempts to halt the Monarchists and reformists from harming the status quo with the backing of the army his force is small but well trained and armed. The last of the main contenders is Queen Meredith the sole child of King Harold and devout reformist backed by merchants democrats and communists alike she must lead this dispraite force to victory. You are Sir Edmund ”The Crow” Drayton, a recently Knighted Yeoman, the leader of the small monarchist sub faction of the reformists. The capital city of Ironhaven burns as your men wrench control of the tightly packed city from the junta's hands. The junta navy burns in the port as its reformist counterpart proudly sails into the port. The Junta forces have all fallen back to the center of the city where they are surrounded intent on not giving up the home of your Queen without a fight.
Past threads: https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=BrinkQM It's taken a few days and quite the number of casualties but you're finally ready for a proper assault against the palace district. The Navy has seen fit to shuttle several infantry divisions into the city from the port and have seen to resupplying your men. The men are worn down but eager to finally end the bloody fighting. Your tanks rumble idly in the streets as your infantry hide in buildings from the misty rain that blankets the city Its time to decide how you will take the palace.
>push directly at the palace in a spearhead >push all angles at once
The wind bites at your face, harsh and unforgiving, carrying with it the faint, bitter scent of death. You pull the hood of your ragged cloak tighter around you, hiding the fine clothing beneath. It's not the time to flaunt appearances, not when you’re this close to your quarry. At your hips, your dual swords hang with a comforting weight, their edges sharp and deadly. Your repeating crossbow is clenched firmly in your grip, each bolt loaded and ready for the kill. You can feel the ache in your body—three days without food, one day without water—but your resolve drives you forward. The thirst gnawing at your throat is a constant reminder of just how close to the edge you are, but you can’t stop now. Not when the demon’s lair is near.
You unroll the map, its magic shimmering faintly in the dusk light. You see it immediately—a new threat. The red swirl of a demon portal has appeared, pulsing as if alive, not far from your current path. The sharp scent of sulfur fills the air, confirming the worst. A new portal, and with it, new demons ready to spill into the world. You glance south. There’s a village two days away, a place that would be easy prey for these creatures once they get a whiff of human life. You’ve seen it too many times before—demons hunt by scent, and it won’t be long before they sniff out the village.
To the north, a river. Just a day’s journey, and it could offer you the precious water your body so desperately needs. But you know what lurks there. Demon fish infest the waters, vicious and deadly, and your magic map can’t track them—water blocks the magic’s reach. You could handle them, maybe, but who knows how strong they are in this region?
Then your eyes fall back to the original target—the demon you’ve been hunting for days. Its lair is close now, close enough that you can almost taste the fetid air seeping from its depths. The demon must have water, maybe food. If you push on, you might make it before you collapse from thirst. But this new portal… if you leave it unchecked, the demons will spill out, free to wreak havoc.
You’re running out of time and energy. The village is vulnerable. The river holds risks of its own. The demon's lair promises survival—if you can reach it. But now, the portal threatens to upend everything.
What will you do? The map pulses in your hand, as if urging you to make a decision before it’s too late.
> Continue chasing the big demon: The lair is close, with water and maybe food, and killing the demon would be a significant victory. But the new portal will go unchecked, releasing more demons. > Head to the river: There’s water there, but demon fish are dangerous. You don’t know how many or how strong, but you need water to survive. > Head to the village: You could save the village, but it’s two days away. The demons from the portal won’t take long to find it. > Head to the new portal: Close the portal before the demons spread, but without water or food, you’re on borrowed time. > Write in
By popular(?) demand, it continues. The Caretaker Quest shall move forward!
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“Well, we have to work tomorrow, i think it's best if we keep it light for tonight”
“Aww come on, please don't ask for Butterbeer, that's no fun!”
“We can't go back drunk to Hogwarts, Olivia…”
“yeah yeah i know, you guys are boring…hey, i´ve got an idea!” She quickly walks to the backroom, the sound of some glass bottles falling and rolling can be heard and just like that, she comes back.
“How about a middle point?” She pulls out a small crate with a cold mist leaking out of it.
“Vat is zat?”
“Just my special reserve for day drinking! a nice cold crate filled with nectar of the gods! Mulled Mead! Definitely stronger than Butterbeer, but not strong enough to get you shitfaced like Firewhiskey does. This thing has saved me from the slower days more times than i can count.”
She pulls out a big crystal bottle in the shape of a viking cup, the golden liquid gently swaying inside.
“I don't know…what do you say?”
“I say ve can take it! give me some!”
“That's what I'm talking about!”
Olivia takes out a couple of smaller glasses and pours the thick liquid out of the bottle, not only does it looks like honey, its moves and smells like honey.
“Fine, sounds decent enough”
You take your cup and make a toast with Willow, Olivia joining in too.
“For a nice first day of school!” Willow says cheerfully
“For new friends” you say, feeling a bit lame for saying that, but also a genuine bond forming between you and her.
“For alcohol!” Olivia barely finishes before she starts drinking in.
The sun finally completely disappears behind the mountains, letting the stars shine brightly, but you feel like your day is just starting.
The prison break plan has officially begun! You, Aurora, The Markgician, Odetta, and Suan De are being carried by the Buffalo to a certain bridge spot that will lead you to the prison proper.
<span class="mu-s">The Shotgun Kiss</span> is a Prison Island linked to the mainland by an old bridge. It’s a repulsive artificial peninsula of sorts, another element of human hubris. Regardless of your inexplicable disdain for it, the connection was created to facilitate the life of the people working there. This place has been a secret mainstay of the region for decades — and to the surprise of no one — people don’t like living in jail, prisoners, guards, or office workers. The hiring situation was so dire that the government was forced to build better accommodations for the guards, and when that wasn’t enough anymore, they built the village Galactic is currently invading. (Backstory provided by Vera’s guard mole.)
You plan to first save <span class="mu-s">Mysterious Calamity</span>, one of the many Calamity Cousins. She’s being held on the 5th floor of the facility, <span class="mu-s">Floor E</span>. The Markgician has made it pretty clear that the escape route he devised connects to the entirety of the prison, so this bifurcation isn’t a hassle. It’s one big route. As far as you gather, there are underground tunnels connecting the jail to the bridge, and there’s one tunnel that Agent Mage himself carved throughout the prison that is now linked too.
Floor E and F are similar. Living conditions aren’t a concern, so the cells are usually overcrowded from all the floors above them, but these have singular cells for their prisoners. All prisoners from these levels are persons of interest.
While Agent Mage won’t struggle to make a connection to Misty's wing, he can’t directly connect the route to her. So, it’s up to you to find a way to bust her out. Now, you’re presented with many options for your heart’s desire. Pick whatever fits your style more!
—At this time, Agent Major Tom is about to break into the Prison Security Chief’s house—
<span class="mu-s">What do you do?</span>
>Pretend to be a guard and find Misty’s cell, talk to her. Get to know her better before letting her know you’re breaking her out. >Steal a key to unlock the prison door. Keep it simple and *invisible*, if you catch your drift. >Go invisible. Wait for the cameras to be jammed. Destroy the door with Philonune. Then escape with her. >Write In.
- (POV shift: You are Kasimir Craney, part of a recon section led by chief explorer Serret.)
You adjust the plating of your protection suit. It is far too tight in some places, and far too open in others. You were just an infantryman a decade ago, so you were quite used to such suits. Of course, back in those days, the suits were of high quality make and actually comfortable, though they had impaired your movement a lot more than this suit, however, the large gaps in your joints that allow for such mobility make you still feel uncomfortable. It is hard to lose instinctual knowledge of using plating that now doesn’t exist to tank shots and make sure they are glancing at best. Now however, you had to unlearn something you had with you for your entire adult life.
Still, you suppose you are better off than those poor buggers. The men around you that you are commanding are all in bulky spacesuits, their movements awkward and each step has to be measured because if they slip, they are not getting back up in any reasonable amount of time in a firefight.
As you march ahead, you halt before a dead tunnel dog. You had been moving down for about fifteen minutes and had continuously run into a group or two of various dead animals. This one is no exception, frothing at the mouth that had long since dried out open eyes that seem to be rotting in real time and the bloated corpse is a mildly disturbing sight.
“Log, another dead one. Looks like a tunnel dog, body’s bloated. Time of death…uh…roughly three days.” You check over the interface before your eyes and log your finding for a future report. Command wants these tunnels cleared, so having a good idea on how effective the bioweapon was is considered a secondary, but an important objective.
“Sir !” You hear over the comm from one of your men. “Chamber ahead.”
“Roger. Weapons ready, fan out and secure us an entrance, keep your eyes on the ground and ceiling they have both diggers and flyers, want two men keeping an eye on one. Move out !” You quickly state raising your rifle and shouldering it, moving into the large open chamber.
Moisture covers your surroundings, and further away, where your torches barely reach, you spot glistening.
“Water ?” One of the men calls out.
“Underground river seems like.” Another answers.
Moving ahead and into the chamber, you do spot what appears to be a rather large lake occupying about a third of the chamber, and sure enough, the noise of flowing water intensifies and you can see that the lake is both intaking water and letting it out.
Other than that, the chamber appears to be large and open with the ground surprisingly smooth with naturally formed pillars maintaining this small serene land.
